


Not everybody gets to just blurt out what they fucking think every minute

by MiriamMT



Series: Gallavich OneShots (no smut) [46]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Bipolar Ian Gallagher, Fluff, Hurt Mickey Milkovich, M/M, Mickey Milkovich Loves Ian Gallagher, POV First Person, POV Mickey Milkovich, Pain, Sad, Sad Mickey Milkovich
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:31:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23300167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiriamMT/pseuds/MiriamMT
Summary: The Gallavich Storyline and everything Mickey couldn't say.Season 1 - 7
Relationships: Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich
Series: Gallavich OneShots (no smut) [46]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1525730
Comments: 10
Kudos: 55





	Not everybody gets to just blurt out what they fucking think every minute

"Kiss me and I'll cut your fucking tongue out"  
I say.  
 _"I want to know what your kiss feels like"_  
I think.

"I guess this was like a booty call, huh?"  
You ask.  
"Whatever, See ya."  
I say.  
 _"I wanna be with you more often"_  
I think.

"I miss you"  
You say.  
"Say that again and I rip the tongue outta your head"  
I say.  
 _"I miss you too"_  
I think.

"Take your hand of the glass"  
I say.  
 _"Stop smiling at me like that or I'm gonna fall in love with you, you idiot"_  
I think.

"What's he doing here?"  
I ask.  
 _"I'm so happy too see you again"_  
I think.

"You wanna chit chat or you wanna get one me?"  
I ask.  
 _"I've missed you so much"_  
I think.

"My dad finds out about this, he will kill me himself"  
I say.  
 _"I'm scared and alone, just understand me, please"_  
I think.

"What did I just say to you? Done is done! What you think we're boyfriend and Girlfriend here? You're nothing but a warm mouth to me"  
I say.  
 _"I'm sorry, I don't mean it, I'm scared"_  
I think.

"So, you got any fuck left in you or did you dump it all in that faggot's ass?"  
I ask.  
 _"Did you replace me already? Did you forget about me?"_  
I think.

"Missed ya"  
I say.  
 _"I don't wanna be away from you again"_  
I think.

"Oh, that's the guy you've been... you've been seeing... you guys like picknick together? Or you'll get a little dog with a fucking sweater?"  
I ask.  
"No, we don't picknick, we mostly just fuck. Like you and Angie"  
You say.  
 _"Why do you have to hurt me so damn much?"_  
I think.

"I don't know what you see in that geriatric viagroid."  
I say.  
 _"What does he have that I don't?"_  
I think.  
"He isn't afraid to kiss me"  
You say.  
 _"You don't know what you're talking about"_  
I think.

"If you wanna ditch that dump and crash at my place, you can"  
I say.  
 _"I just want to be with you"_  
I think.

"She's gonna fuck the faggot out of you, son"  
He says.  
 _"Ian, please don't look"_  
I think.

"So, who is it? Is it Angie Zago or some other piece of trash you screw so you can pretend I don't matter to you?"  
You say.  
 _"How can you say something so awful?"_  
I think.

"Get the fuck off me"  
I say.  
 _"Please, I don't want you to get hurt again"_  
I think.

"Do it!"  
You scream  
 _"Maybe it's gonna keep you away from me and my dad"_  
I think.

"You love me and you're gay. Just admit it, just this once, fucking admit it!"  
You beg.  
 _"I love you, but I can't"_  
I think.

"If you give half a shit about me- "  
You say.  
"Hey, hey"  
I stop you.  
 _"I do, but it's not safe"_  
I think.

"Don't do this"  
You beg.  
 _"I wish I'd have a choice"_  
I think.

"Not everybody gets to just- ... Not everybody gets to just blurt out how they fucking feel every minute"  
I say.  
 _"I have feelings for you, I do, but I can't say it, not now... not after what happened. I'm sorry"_  
I think.

"What were you hoping? That I tell you not to go? That I'll chase after you like some Bitch?"  
I ask.  
 _"Please, don't leave me"_  
I think.  
"I didn't come here for you"  
You say.

"Don't"  
I beg you.  
 _"Please stay with me"_  
I think.  
"Don't what?"  
You ask.  
"Just..."  
I whisper.  
 _"I love you, don't leave... stay"_  
I think.

"You know where he is?"  
I ask.  
 _"Is he okay?"_  
I think.  
"What do you care?"  
She asks.  
"Don't"  
I say.  
 _"I love him, I miss him"_  
I think.

"He in trouble? What kind of trouble?"  
I ask.  
 _"Where is he? Is he okay? How can I get to him?"_  
I think.

"I've been running around all night looking for your coked-out ass"  
I say.  
 _"What is wrong with you? Who are you? Where is my Ian?"_  
I think _._

"Listen, if you don't wanna hang out with me, that's fine. You need to call your family, Ian"  
I say.  
 _"Did I ruin everything?"_  
I think.

"See you left. Took all of your shit."  
I say.  
 _"Please come back, I can't make it without you."_  
I think.

"Together"  
I say.  
 _"Are we?"_  
I think.

"You're here"  
You say.  
 _"Please leave, it's not safe"_  
I think.

"Because you're not free!"  
You say.  
"Ian, what you and I have, makes me free, not what those assholes know"  
I say.  
 _"I love you, can't you see?"_  
I think.

"We're done"  
You say  
"The fuck are you talking about?"  
I ask.  
 _"Please don't leave again, I can't take it"_  
I think.

"I understand better than anyone, that you're afraid of your father and you're afraid of your wife"  
You claim.  
 _"Do you? You should."_  
I think.  
"You're afraid to be who you are"  
You say.  
 _"How can I not, you know what happened"_  
I think.  
"Fuck you"  
I say.

"Good, leave, the hell do I care, bitch?"  
I say.  
 _"Don't leave me, not again, please, don't walk away again"_  
I think.

"I'm fucking gay"  
I say.  
 _"I'm gonna die"_  
I think.  
"You happy now?"  
I ask.  
 _"You gonna stay now?"_  
I hope.

"Go away"  
You mumble.  
 _"What is wrong? What is going one?"_  
I think.

"No fucking way! No fucking way!"  
I yell.  
 _"I'm scared"_  
I think.

"I can take care of him, let me take care of him until he's better"  
I beg.  
 _"I would do everything for him. We can make it"_  
I think.

"He stays here, you hear me? He's staying with me."  
I say.  
 _"Don't take him away from me again"_  
I think.

"Your boyfriend's losing his shit"  
She says.  
 _"What is going on with you? Please calm down"_  
I think.

"Fucking cheat on me Ian! Won't get out of bed and you're fucking bouncing off the walls! I came out for you, you piece of shit!"  
I cry.  
 _"Why is everything so fucked? Where is the boy that I fell in love with?"_  
I think.

"Don't touch me!"  
I say.  
 _"Who are you?"_  
I think.

"I gotta take you to a hospital, Ian."  
I say.  
 _"You need help, I can't do it alone"_  
I think.

"Okay shithead, this is like the 200th time I'm calling you and you're not picking up, I'm starting to get fucking homicidal!"  
I say.  
 _"I'm worried"_  
I think.  
"I'm worried about you, I love you"  
I say.  
 _"I love you, come back, I'm sorry"_  
I think.  
I cry.

"Is the baby okay?"  
I ask.  
 _"Where is Yevgeny? Where is Ian? He would never do something to him."_  
I think.

"Who are you in relation to Mr Gallagher?"  
He asks.  
"His partner. Lover. Family, you know?"  
I say.  
 _"He's my everything"_  
I think.

 _"You look awful. I'm glad that you're okay. Are you okay?"_  
I think.  
I hug him.

"Well, if he won't go, I'm just gonna call the fucking cops. Tell them that he stole the Baby. They'll put him away for a while... At least he'd be getting... some kind of fucking help"  
I almost cry.  
 _"I just want him to be better, I just want him to be okay and safe"_  
I think.

"Just need your... signature"  
He whispers.  
You look at me.  
I nod.  
 _"Please, I need you to be okay again"_  
I think.

"I'm sorry"  
You whisper.  
I run after you.  
I hug you.  
 _"I love you, I'm so sorry this needs to happen, I love you so much"_  
I think.

"Can I go in with him?"  
I ask.  
 _"I don't want to leave him, not now, he needs me"_  
I think.  
"No, sorry"  
She says.

"Relationship to the patient?"  
She asks.  
"Uh, Boyfriend"  
I say.  
 _"I just want to see my Ian again"_  
I think.

"I'm going home?"  
You ask.  
 _"You sound so hopeful, it breaks my heart"_  
I think.

"Shall we sit?"  
She asks.  
"Yeah, let's fucking sick"  
I say.  
 _"What's wrong with him? This is creeping me out."_  
I think.

"Where is Yevgeny?"  
You ask.  
 _"There is the man I love"_  
I think.

"You okay?"  
She asks.  
"Mhm, ya"  
I lie.  
 _"I can't stay here"_  
I think.  
"It's just the sedation"  
She explains.  
"Mhm, yeah, I- I gotta go"  
I say.  
 _"Who was this man? Where is my Ian?"_  
I think.

"Iggy? I'm getting fucking nuts, where is everybody? Svet?"  
I yell.  
I fall.  
 _"Where are you Ian? What happened to you? To us? I need you back, I need you here with me"_  
I think.  
I press his jacket on me.  
 _"I love you"_  
I think.

You call.  
I don't pick up.  
 _"I'm scared. I don't think I can deal with this. I'm sorry"_  
I think.

"Did you guys break up or something?"  
She screams over the music.  
 _"I don't know? Did we? Can it ever be okay again? Ever be the same again?"_  
I think.  
"Because I'm sure he didn't mean to fucking steal your Baby!"  
She screams.  
 _"I know he didn't, he loves Yevgeny. But that clinic freaked me the fuck out"_  
"I'm fucking busy, Peppermint Patty! Why don't you go cry to someone who gives a shit?"  
I scream back.

"You can't drink him away, Mickey, it won't work."  
She says.  
 _"I know, I don't want him to be away, don't want to forget him, I want him back"_  
I think.

"Hey"  
I whisper.  
 _"I'm sorry, I was scared. I know you need me just as much as I need you"_  
I think.  
"I'm sorry I'm late"  
I say.  
You look so relieved.  
 _"I won't go again, I won't leave again. I'm gonna take care of you and do everything I can to make you feel better. I will stay."_  
I think.  
I kiss your forehead.  
You close your eyes.  
 _"I love you"_  
I think.

You punch me.  
"I don't need a fucking caretaker, all right? I need the bitch-slapping, shit-talking piece of southside trash I fell for! Where is he? The fuck is he, Mick?"  
You yell.  
You don't care that you hurt me.  
 _"You made him love you, how could you?"_  
I think.  
"Fuck you! Fuck me for giving a shit, you prick!"  
I say.

We kiss, covered in blood.  
 _"That's good, we needed that, this is us again."_  
I think.

"We've never been on an actual date!"  
You exclaim.  
"Bulshit"  
I say.  
 _"I want to go on a date with you. I want people to be jealous of us. I want to be happy and carefree for one night"_  
I think.

I hear you scream.  
I want to run to you, but I can't.  
 _"Hold on, everything's gonna be okay! I'll come and get you!"_  
I think.

"You can't just drag him out of his fucking house! He's sick for fuck's sake!"  
I scream.  
 _"Ian, I'm sorry, I'll come and get you out of there, I promise! I'll come and rescue you"_  
I think.

I hear that man talk about all the stuff you did.  
 _"I want to take your hand, right now, tell you, that you're not alone, that I'm gonna stay with you"_  
I think.

"I'm not saying, that you put us through hell. But if they're manic, they can be destructive."  
She says.  
 _"I'm sorry you have to hear this. It's the only way of getting you out of this mess. I'm so sorry that you have to listen to us talking about you like this. I love you"_  
I think.

"Mr Gallagher was released into the care of... Monica Gallagher"  
He says.  
 _"You left me again?"_  
I think.

"You can't fix me, because I'm not broken! I don't need to be fixed, okay? I'm me!"  
You yell.  
 _"That's a lie and you know it"_  
I think.

"This is it."  
I say.  
 _"Please don't"_  
I think.  
"This is you breaking up with me"  
I say.  
 _"Please don't leave me again"_  
I think.  
"Yeah"  
You say.  
 _"No"_  
I think.  
"Really?"  
I say.  
 _"No, please"_  
I think.  
"Fuck"  
I say.  
 _"I love you"_  
I think.

"Will you? Wait?"  
I ask.  
 _"Please, just say that you'll wait, just give me a last piece of hope."_  
I think.  
"Fucking lie if you have to"  
I say.  
 _"This can't be the end of us."_  
I think.

"Yeah Mick, I'll wait."  
You say.  
 _"You lie"_  
I think.

"Missed me?"  
I say.  
 _"Please, say you didn't forget about me"_  
I think.

"I've got my shit together Mick! And I... I have a fucking Boyfriend!"  
You yell.  
"Boyfriend?"  
I ask.  
 _"Of course, you do, you're too gorgeous to be alone, you're too gorgeous for me."_  
I think.

"Am I gonna see you again?"  
I ask.  
 _"I love you"_  
I think.

"Yeah, the bank!"  
You say.  
"Oh, check it out! Ian Gallagher putting his big boy pants on!"  
I say.  
 _"There is the grin that I fell in love with years ago, there is the boy, that I love so much"_  
I think.

"This is all the money in your account, Mr Gallagher. Are you sure, you wanna close in?"  
She asks.  
You look at me.  
You look at me like I'm worth it and you smile.  
"Yeah, all of it"  
You say.  
 _"You really are serious about this. You're gonna come with me. We're gonna be together again"_  
I think.

"I can't"  
You say.  
 _"What do you mean? What are you saying?"_  
I think.  
"Ian we're one step from the finish line"  
I say.

"Don't do this"  
I beg you.  
 _"Why do you have to hurt me again? Why do you have to break me again?"_  
I think.

"I love you"  
You say.  
 _"I don't believe you"_  
I think.  
"Then get in the fucking car"  
I say.

"This isn't me anymore."  
You say.  
 _"What do you mean? What of this isn't you anymore? You breaking my heart again? Leaving me again? How is that suddenly not you? This is you, that new you, that you became when I married Svet. You're still punishing me for that. And I love you though."_  
I think.

I kiss you.  
It's the last time, I know it.  
 _"I love you, Ian"_  
I think.  
"Fuck you, Gallagher"  
I say.  
 _"Ask me to stay"_  
I think.

But you don't say anything.


End file.
